Cameroon Colemans

2010-11-14T14:18:00.000-08:00

HOSTEL PARENTING--rewarding, fun, challenging, tiring, and busy...never-ending laundry, ever-hungry teenagers, lots of piling in the van to go here and there, lots of laughter, some struggles, room inspections, kids on 4 different sports teams plus Worship Team and Running Club, 9 different ideas about what movie to watch on Friday night, more laughter, more struggles, academic joys, academic woes, the Grade 9 Bridge Project, the Grade 10 IGCSE preparation, the Grade 12 SAT & TOEFL taker, giving haircuts, finding new recipes and trying to make the food budget s-t-r-e-t-c-h as far as possible, the joke of the day, internet down--again, electricity off--again, water tank empty--again, it's raining so need to grab all the half-dry clothes off the line, muddy cleats in the house, devotions and prayer times, fun times and hard times--LIFE!!! And life in the center of God's will is always good. Because He is good. All the time!

Calling All You Construction Types!!

2009-05-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

Ever want to get down and play in the dirt? Well, we've got lots of dirt and mud too at the construction sites for the new MK Hostel and the new campus of Rain Forest International School. We need masons, bricklayers, laborers, electricians, carpenters, plumbers, tile guys, landscapers--you name it and we can probably use YOU! Let us know if you'd like more information...

Arnie checking out the new RFIS Library!

2009-05-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

Tricky Tones and Pool Noodle Jousts

2008-11-03T13:33:00.000-08:00

November 2008
For about 2 ½ hours one afternoon last week, we met with two Esimbi men and a Wycliffe language consultant to discuss the thorny orthography questions—how to spell Esimbi. (That’s what you get to [have to?] decide when the language has never been written before!) The basic issue is how to mark the tones that carry significant meaning in the Esimbi language. The goal is to make it easy—for both those literate and illiterate in English—to learn to read and write Esimbi.

The discussion went back and forth and back again—which of the five tones are most frequent in the language; how would a choice affect the noun classes; what about the difference between the progressive and past tenses... The consultant (who is unmistakably brilliant at this sort of thing) came up with a plan, diagrammed it on the wall of chalkboard in his small office. Then he sat back, looked it over and said, “That gives lots more problems!” and he sat shaking his head. Literally, it was back to the drawing board for an alternate plan.

Finally an idea was sketched out, much different from the one we’d started with several hours before. But it had several advantages and only one major drawback. Now the plan is to take this proposal back to the community to test it and see if it will fly. Please pray for wisdom on this. It will go out as a tentative solution, but even now there are some people who don’t want to change the old way we’ve been doing it. Ever notice how we people-types don’t always like change??

Zac slept in this Saturday morning…his 11th grade class put on a Medieval Feast last night for about 140 people at Rain Forest International School and he worked hard! There were roaming minstrels and jugglers (including Arnie); jousts were done with pool noodles and steeds (just bigger people than the jousters); fairy tales were acted out by the audience; there was a “royal family” at the head table, and the king would sometimes order people to be put in the stocks, like for “fashion violations.” Then others could go up and throw socks (rolled into balls) at them. Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham put in their appearance, but did not get on well with each other as you might expect. We were served brown bread and delicious grilled chicken for dinner—but no utensils to eat them with! At the serf auction…we “bought” one student (to come and give Zac and Noah a guitar lesson). It was great fun.

Thanks for your prayers for us. We count on the fact that we are being prayed for by our faithful friends—like you!

Karen <>< for the Colemans

2008-10-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

Snakes in the Grass -- September 2008

2008-10-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

Another ho-hum afternoon of office work, sitting at my computer here at Rain Forest International School...I was probably preparing for our upcoming special emphasis week on Drug Abuse Prevention, or maybe finishing up the paper work after registering a student to take the SAT or ACT test later this year.

But across the hall in the Admin Team meeting in our Director’s office there was quite a hullabaloo! I heard the word, “SNAKE!” and so, of course, HAD TO jump up to check it out!

Sure enough, there was a bright green snake slithering up the wall right outside the office window. Someone ran to get Joseph and he came dashing with a cutlass (machete) and sprang into action. He missed it entirely the first whack—it was moving VERY fast! He got a piece of it the second time, but it barely slowed at all. The third blow he got the head. The nerves in the body still twitched for a while, but it was definitely dead. Emotions (Joseph’s and those of the spectators) started calming down slowly, like a BB dropping in oil.

It was a poisonous Green Mamba, and Joseph buried the head (with the venom) and took the rest home for dinner! It has a lot of bones, and not much meat—it was only about an inch in diameter, maybe five feet long. But, hey, meat is meat!

An even more sinister snake…

Why does Rain Forest (RFIS) exist? Well, there are Bible translators laboring in tiny African villages, and veterinarians reaching out to Fulani cattle herders, and church planters training national leaders, and doctors treating malaria, and pilots who facilitate all these things. These folks can continue their ministries here in Cameroon and neighboring African countries, while their middle and high school students get a very good education. (Although perhaps a little TOO stimulating at times—with Green Mambas around!)

This means that if powers of darkness can wreak havoc in the lives of these students, their families may have to return to their home country for counseling help. And their ministries are put on hold, and may even be stopped cold.

As Student Care Coordinator at RFIS, I meet with students who have need of a touch from God; a reminder that He loves and cares for them; a listening ear or a word of advice about a relationship or a sadness in their life or decision they are facing.

Please pray with us that God would protect Zac and Noah and the other 114 students at RFIS from the poison that Satan seeks to inject in their lives, to cause them to doubt God, His ways, His will.

And please pray for Arnie as he embarks on a new ministry challenge—teaching Bible at a local Cameroonian high school. He also still teaches choir, trumpet, and computer at RFIS.

We value your prayers for us more than we could ever express.

Karen <>< for the Colemans

Cameroon is proud of Franciose!

2008-08-25T14:08:00.001-07:00

Franciose the Long Jumper

2008-08-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Cameroon Takes Gold in Beijing!!!

2008-08-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

Coleman Cameroon Chronicles

2008-08-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

August 2008 STATE OF THE UNION:

URBANITES SURVIVE FIRST YEAR!

The Coleman Family has come round the bend of their first anniversary here in the Cameroon capitol Yaoundé. They report it has been a year of transitions, settling in, and learning the ropes. Although only about 300 miles actual distance from their previous “bush” location, the lifestyle change was considerable!
Their sons have made the transition well, although both miss the open spaces and freedoms of the bush. Zac, now the tallest member of the family at 6’1” has found camaraderie among the Class of 2010 at Rain Forest International School (RFIS). To cap off their year, this resolute group of 18 terrific students weathered together a battery of tests, the legendary IGCSEs (International General Certificate of Secondary Education) which beset every 10th grade class at RFIS. Zac also took first place in a poetry contest at the school.
Noah stepped into the teen world in May, feted by seven of his friends at an all-night gala of video games, movies and masses of food. He and his brother performed admirably in their academic pursuits. Both enjoyed their stint on the RFIS Junior Boys’ Soccer team, their final record notwithstanding.
Dr. Arnie Coleman stepped up to the challenge of teaching Bible and Worldview to a group of forty-two 11th and 12th graders. Karen served the student body as Student Care Coordinator and Examinations Officer. Their roles may undergo some shifting in the coming 2008-09 school year as other staff come and go.

The other passion of their lives, the Esimbi Bible Translation Project, unfortunately experienced a slow-down this year, when the translation coordinator was drawn to another job a year ago. Recent meetings with project leaders served to take the pulse of the situation and encouraged them all to stay the course. There will be renewed efforts to secure cooperation and participation from various churches to continue to move the project forward.
Although the Colemans plan to minister in Cameroon as long as the Lord allows them to stay, their Yaoundé location will come up for review this year. There are several options under consideration and they will be reporting back in future State of the Union addresses as plans are firmed up.

************************************************************************
A few personal notes—
• We would like to express our deep and sincere appreciation to you for your prayers and support of our ministry here in Cameroon. We would not want to be here if people were not praying for us!
• We plan to be sending out these letters by post several times per year. We have also been sending email updates more regularly. If you would like to begin receiving those as well, please drop us a short email so that we can add you to that list. arnie.coleman@worldteam.org
• We do have a prayer request which may come as no surprise as you hear or read news reports on the global economy. The buying power of our dollars here in Cameroon has decreased at the same time prices, particularly for food, have increased. Our basic support needs also increased dramatically as we went from home-schooling the boys in a rural location to enrolling them at RFIS while living in this much more expensive urban setting. We would appreciate your prayers for our generous Heavenly Father to supply our needs.
• If you would like to join our support team, you can give either on-line at www.worldteam.org or by mail to: World Team; 1431 Stuckert Road; Warrington, PA 18976-2851. Please designate your contribution for Arnie and Karen Coleman. The office will send you a tax deductible receipt for all gifts.

Thanks for taking the time to get caught up on our chronicles. We are truly grateful for your part in our work here in Cameroon.

Arnie, Karen, Zac and Noah

“The situation has calmed considerably.”

2008-03-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

This was the US State Department announcement about Cameroon last Wednesday (12 March). We have been cautiously back at school and our normal daily activities for almost two weeks now. We are grateful for all the prayers for our safety and for the peace and stability of this our beloved adopted country.

Here’s an exciting progress report related to the ongoing tussle we’ve had with Esimbi tone over the years: Two gifted linguists from Wycliffe Bible Translators have been mulling over our Esimbi tone problems and yesterday we received their findings and suggestions. Our semester break starts on March 21, and Arnie hopes to gather a group of our Esimbi translation and literacy folks the following week in Bamenda to discuss this report and decide where to go from here. Please pray for wisdom and direction for that meeting.

Also over spring break we’ll gather as World Team Cameroon South missionaries for our annual field conference. This year it will be held at the beach—a first for us—and we are really looking forward to some good fellowship and fun (and some business mixed in!) with our colleague/friends. We work with a great group of folks here, all committed to our World Team mission statement: Glorifying God by working together to establish reproducing churches focusing on unreached peoples of the world.

Noah just got back from a friend’s sleepover/birthday party where one of the gifts was a live tarantula, caught at school yesterday by one of the other invitees—oh, the joys of having your 13th birthday in the tropics! Zac is trying to get his homework out of the way this afternoon to have time to go back to school tonight to sell snacks with his fellow 10th graders, during the intermission of the annual Rain Forest International School (RFIS) drama production. Arnie has been busy grading assignments received from his 11th and 12th grade Bible students, as progress reports come out next week. Karen continues to simmer her “alphabet soup” of tests for RFIS—SAT, ACT, AP, IGCSE, and TOEFLs—and just hopes from day to day that the pot doesn’t boil over!

Thanks for your prayers for us and our dual ministry responsibilities here with Esimbi Bible translation and RFIS. We appreciate the partnership we have with you in God’s Kingdom work here in Cameroon.

The African Colemans—Arnie, Karen, Zac and Noah

Below is a copy of the latest report on the progress of the Esimbi language project:

Esimbi Tone Research Report
Stephen Anderson, SIL Cameroun, March 14, 2008

1. Introduction
For some time now, Robert Hedinger had informed me that the Esimbi language team needed to do additional research to come up with a good way to mark tone in that language. When Robert heard that Arnie and Karen Coleman were going to be living in Yaounde this year, he asked me if this might be a time for me to help them make some progress. Fortunately, I am also mentoring Phil Davison for a couple of years, so we actually had the manpower to try to do something. Finally, we all received the phonology and orthography write-up from Brad Koenig, so we had a known basis from which to start.

2. Goals
After Phil and I read Brad’s write-up, the two of us met with the Colemans and Charles ABRE (an Esimbi speaker attending the University of Yaounde). We promised the Colemans that we would try to do some additional tone research and see if we might come up with a better suggestion for writing tone than was proposed in Brad’s write-up.

3. Methodology
From the beginning, due to previous experiences with other languages, we wanted to find a way to measure the level of functional load that each tonal contrast carries in Esimbi. In order to do this, we needed as near as possible an exhaustive list of Esimbi tonal minimal pairs. Phil ended up working quite a bit on the language team’s database to slowly develop a list of minimal tone pairs/triplets.

4. Problems
The phonetic tone data on the database needed quite a bit of work and verification before we felt we had a good idea of tonal minimal pairs. Phil accomplished this by working with Arnie, Charles and Elias NUM (another Esimbi speaker) during some three afternoon language sessions.

5. Results
5.1 Minimal tone pairs/triplets/etc.
Phil developed a list of 350 Esimbi words that he was confident were part of minimal tone pairs/triplets/etc. This is quite high since we had only 2,000 words in the database, so the 350 words represented 17% of all recorded Esimbi words.
5.2 Functional load of various tone contrasts
After establishing a list in which we had confidence, Phil analyzed the importance of each of the minimal tone pairs. The result was that by far the highest functional load was carried by two tone contrasts: H vs. L and M vs. L. The third highest contrast was between H and M, with rising and falling tones not important in this area.
5.3 Tonal contrast between class 9/10 singulars and plurals
As already reported in Brad’s write-up, nouns of gender 9/10 differed from each other only by their tone patterns. Since that write-up was proposing to only write high tone on specific minimal pairs, they also proposed that the 9/10 nouns be handled the same way. When Phil looked at these patterns in detail, there was indeed a general “raising” influence so that the tones of the pluralized forms were always higher than their parallel singular forms.

6. Immediate implications of the results
6.1 Importance of low tones in the functional load
We were very pleased to see that just one of the five tones figured so much in the functional load of Esimbi tone contrasts. It was quickly apparent to us that, if one would mark just this one tone, over 90% of the ambiguity between tonal pairs/triplets/etc. would be taken care of. We recently analyzed another language with results like this, while yet other languages divide the functional load up more evenly.
6.2 Importance of low tones in distinguishing 9/10 gender nouns
We were then very pleasantly surprised to find that if one marked these same L tones in 9/10 gender nouns, over 90% of the ambiguity there was also taken care of.

7. Suggested implications for the orthography of Esimbi
7.1 Write vowel length with double vowels wherever it is found
As we suggested to the Colemans at our initial meeting, even though vowel length does not carry a high functional load, it should be written wherever it is found, whether in underlying lexical forms or (if found) in derived forms where the vowel length is important. (This is a great help to writers.)
7.2 Write low tones with a diacritic wherever they are found
Due to the fortuitous results of our research, we suggest that Esimibi orthography uses a diacritic (a grave accent) over the vowel in each low tone syllable. It is important that we are recommending that such accents are only written according to the pronunciation of the word in isolation (or, its “dictionary tone”). We refer to this as writing the underlying lexical tone. We are thus suggesting that Esimbi uses such a diacritic to mark PITCH, and not just to disambiguate certain minimal tone pairs. This does mean that you will need to teach this mark as a pitch in the various primers.
7.3 Writing diacritics for two cases of grammatical tone
As already clear in Brad’s write-up, both “habitual” and “progressive” constructions are tonally ambiguous with other constructions in the language. When we looked at it closer, being aware that habitual and progressive aspects are subcategories of the more general imperfective aspect, we found that it would be possible to use a single diacritic to mark these two cases of grammatical tone (since there is a vowel change between the habitual and progressive constructions that could, if pressed, be used to determine that difference). Let’s suggest for the moment that Esimbi uses the dieresis diacritic to mark both of these cases of imperfective aspect, thus disambiguating them from their potentially confusing counterparts (doing this because choosing the dieresis, which no Cameroon language uses to mark tone, reinforces the fact that we are thereby marking a grammatical construction and not PITCH). Our suggestion would be that this mark is always placed on the verb prefix (whether that prefix is the pronoun marker or the infinitive marker). If the pronoun marker has a low tone, the dieresis would replace the normal grave accent in the case of habitual and progressive constructions (hopefully, there is not a tonal minimal pair among these pronoun markers, something we couldn’t tell from the write-up). It was mentioned in the write-up that such a verb prefix is always present except in imperative forms, so it would be ideal for marking such “grammatical tones”.

However, because the concept of “imperfective” is hard for people to understand, we would instead suggest that two separate diacritics be used to mark either “habitual” or “progressive” meaning on the prefix before the verb, finding these two categories much more concrete and therefore, we trust, easier to teach. The exact diacritics chosen are not important to us, but we might suggest the dieresis and the nasalization diacritics if pressed. It us our understanding that literacy teachers find these “grammatical diacritics” much easier to teach than teaching a diacritic that indicates pitch, probably because it goes straight to meaning and, once the meaning is known, all speakers know how to pronounce it.

8. Problems with the previous “tone-marking” system
Without going into a lot of detail (which I could, if pressed), the previous system of marking only minimal tone pairs that someone has decided might possibly be ambiguous in text has a lot of drawbacks. While it may reduce the number of tone marks on a typical page, its ability to disambiguate potential problems is often overrated. It also provides a difficult challenge to the newly literate as he tries to decide whether or not to put a diacritic on a certain word. He would need to ask himself whether that word is part of a minimal tone pair, ask himself whether some other person/committee had decided (subjectively) whether that word might be potentially ambiguous, etc. Bottom line: while such a “minimal pair” type marking system might be a good alternative for a language where tone carries a really low functional load, we do not feel it should be used for a language with Esimbi’s functional load for tone. The high functional load for tone in Esimbi means that tone carries a lot of meaning, and getting by with marking just one pitch (for the moment) is already tempting fate.

9. Next steps
9.1 Decide to try marking just low PITCH on all lexical tones
This is the emotional step, changing from what you had been thinking to something else. In general, time helps, so take your time making a decision. On the positive side, we think there are many advantages to this decision, most important being to have a well reasoned decision made so that people can get on with literacy, translation and other activities. It needs to be noted that this decision, like all orthography decisions, should be seen to be tentative. Once the orthography is in use, its advantages and disadvantages become clear. In the case of Esimbi, we need to also note that marking one pitch alone may not, in the long run be adequate to disambiguate enough the tonal ambiguities.
9.2 Update the \lx field in the Esimbi database
Once you have a firm, yet tentative, decision made, you should go through the Esimbi database and add the grave accents (or whatever) to all the words that deserve it. If the Esimbi team needs help getting started with this, Phil could show them how to create a filter in Toolbox and be able to focus on the relevant words.
9.3 Make an exhaustive list of all remaining “Esimbi Tone Pairs”
Even after switching to our proposed marking system, there will remain ambiguity between various words in Esimbi. (Hopefully, not more than 30 or so words will still be ambiguous, despite marking grave accents on all low tone syllables.) These words should be carefully collected and analyzed as to their potential for causing problems. If serious problems do indeed occur with these additional words, two main options are available: one, marking as well either high or mid tones throughout, or two, finding some creative way (double consonants, double vowels, some other diacritic) to disambiguate these pairs. We are not at all against using this last strategy for disambiguating small numbers of words in a language, but not for so many problem words as we found in Esimbi without diacritics.
9.4 Fill in an explicit orthography statement for Esimbi
At the same time that he has been working on this research, Phil also updated the SIL Cameroon Orthography Template, both English and French versions. It is now much improved and gives a formatted and highly structured system for presenting your orthography decisions in an explicit manner. Once again, Phil could help the Esimbi team to get started on this process, leaving an explicit record of the current decisions. Part of filling out the tone section of this statement will be explicitly stating the adopted solution for the remaining minimal tone pairs (from section 9.3 above).
9.5 Make an English-Esimbi transition primer
Once the Esimbi team has decided on a fixed writing system to try out, get help from a literacy consultant to make a transition primer, to help those who already are literate in English to quickly transfer their literacy skills to Esimbi. The consultant should help you design very different ways of teaching the low pitch diacritic on the one hand, and the one or two grammatical diacritics on the other hand.
9.6 Publish an Esimbi-English bilingual lexicon
Once you have a fairly stable writing system and a database that is in good shape, you can publish a bilingual lexicon to help jump start literacy efforts. Even if the writing system is fairly logical and simple (at least compared to English and French), many people find help by being able to look up words and be sure that their writing is spelled correctly. What you want to aim for is Esimbi people writing their own language, not just reading it.

By the way, SIL currently has connections with the Kay Williamson Educational Fund (KWEF) and they are going to pay for the publication of many of our dictionaries/lexicons in the next few years. We are also facilitating the publication of such books by many of our partners, as well as by our own SIL teams. The publisher does have certain criteria, and two that you should know early, if you want someone else to pay for your lexicon, is that you should have IPA phonetics included for each main entry (which I believe you already have, though you may want to fine tune it) and you need the plural forms for all nouns, not just for irregular nouns.

Since Dan and Lisa Friesen happened to show up in Yaounde just as we finished our research, we briefly told them what we had found and said we would soon issue this written report.

If Phil or I can be of further help by giving you advice or by showing you how to begin any of these additional tasks, don’t hesitate to ask us.

2008-02-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

Please pray for the Esimbi people!

2008-01-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

New Year, Semester, Challenges

2008-01-29T13:49:00.000-08:00

11 January 2008

Our CHRISTmas break was great—really nice to be up in our old neighborhoods! We made it all the way to our village of Benade. It was a bittersweet time of seeing friends, bringing out the last of what we had stored there, handing over our home of many years for use in the continuing work there.

Our Christian Missionary Fellowship annual retreat was very refreshing. And we returned to our home in Yaoundé to find everything in order, a real answer to prayer. Two families were able to stay there part of the time we were away, which was a help to all of us. We have little hope of recovering the things we lost in the burglary, but continue to be grateful for what didn’t get taken. God is using this experience to help me loosen my grip on material things, and that’s a very good thing.

Yesterday was our first day back at school for our second semester. The boys are back into the routine of classes and soccer practices. Arnie’s Bible students broke up into groups to discuss the basics of being a Christian. And my world took an unexpected turn when I learned the guidance counselor who had gone back to the US for the break is unable to return to Cameroon this year. This leaves a rather large gap and much work to cover. I have been asked to be the Examinations Officer, which involves all the details for administering the International General Certificate of Secondary Education, Advanced Placement, and ACT tests over the coming months. Please pray that I will keep abreast of the countless little essentials for these tests. Thanks!

Our new location here in the capital allows us to be involved in the “Member Care” aspect of missions to a much greater degree than ever before. We’ve tried to be an encouragement to colleagues who were involved in a serious car accident yesterday, one of our teams whose drunken neighbor attacked and killed his wife on New Year’s Eve, normal high school kids with normal “growing pains,” and those just passing through town who need a meal or a place to stay. We could use your prayers for wisdom and compassion to minister His care to our colleagues.

We appreciate you and your prayers for us!

Karen <>< for all

God's Way is Great in 2008!

2008-01-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

I’ve been thinking about a motto for 2008. (Thanks to my sister-in-law Ann’s idea, we’ve been trying to focus on heaven in 2007.) The subject of this email is one idea for the soon-coming year. Maybe you have other suggestions? Let us know if you do.

We had a nice Christmas. Finding out what had been stuffed very surreptitiously overnight in our stockings (which were hung on the wood paneling in the living room—fireplaces are totally irrelevant in Yaoundé!)…a potluck brunch for some of the missionary singles around…a jigsaw puzzle of penny candy…playing the games we’d opened on Christmas Eve.

Speaking of Christmas Eve, part of it wasn’t so nice at all. We left our house in the afternoon to go caroling at some neighbors’ house about 2 blocks away. After about 45 minutes, Arnie came back and discovered a thief inside the house. He had jumped over the 7-foot fence, pried his way through window protectors, broken the kitchen window, kicked in our locked bedroom door, and when Arnie surprised him, he fled with some money and some jewelry, including my wedding ring. He’d been trying to gather a computer, radio, and cameras, but ran out of time. It could have been so much worse. It has kind of put us on edge and we haven’t been sleeping too well. I am trying to focus on God’s sovereignty and seeking His peace. We’d appreciate your prayers as we process this new wrinkle in our urban living.

We have planned a trip to Bamenda Saturday and then on to our village of Benade on Monday. We’ll have an Esimbi meeting Saturday evening with our translation team and committee. Please pray for good communication as we strategize for the coming year for the Esimbi Bible translation and literacy work. From the 4th to the 8th we look forward to our annual Cameroon Missionary Fellowship retreat. It’s always a great time of spiritual refreshment and fellowship with like-minded colleagues, and the boys enjoy some fun time with their MK friends. Classes at Rain Forest International School begin again on the 9th of January.

We are trying to make arrangements for someone to be here at the house during our absence—that alone is a big deterrent for many thieves. Please pray for finding the right person or two for this.

I’ll be missing my missing ring on Sunday especially as Arnie and I celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. I am so grateful for this wonderful godly man and our growth together. I think this last year has been our best yet, and we’re looking forward to many more to come.

We pray your 2008 will be great as you seek God’s way, and we ask you to pray the same for us.

Love and prayers,

Karen <>< for the Colemans

arnie.coleman@worldteam.org

The CHRISTmas Quilt

2007-12-07T02:24:00.000-08:00

December 2007

We have a jigsaw puzzle we delight in this time of year—a snowy scene with a trio of colorful quilts draped over a split rail fence for a winter’s airing.

Adapting to our new location and combining new roles and areas of ministry with the old has been kind of like piecing together a patchwork quilt. There are many pieces in this complex pattern.
· Both boys adjusting and fitting in to a new school environment
· The close quarters of urban living when we were very used to an isolated bush setting
· Arnie’s new role as high school Bible teacher
· Making new friends and keeping the old in new ways
· Karen developing her role as Student Care Coordinator for the high school
· Learning a new city on a long-term basis—we’re no longer just passing through town, so we need to know how to navigate in new ways
· Enjoyable new opportunities for hospitality—we’ve filled the same number of pages in our guest book in the last five MONTHS as we did the first five YEARS in our village of Benade!
· And speaking of Benade, we are all still grieving the loss of our old home and friends there, and remembering the wonderful times we had there.
· Balancing our new roles with the Esimbi Bible translation project and our passion to see the Esimbi people have the Word of God in their own heart language someday
· Karen’s new assignments as prayer coordinator and part of the Leadership Team of World Team Cameroon South Field (happily we now have to say Cameroon South since World Team is also working in the Grand North of Cameroon, a dream we’ve had as a field for many years!)

The word “new” appeared 10 times above. But we are all adjusting and doing well with the newness as we patch the pieces of our quilt together.

This season marks the beginning of Jesus’ adjustments to a very new environment and new limitations—a dependent little newborn who would grow up to be Savior. We pray you are enjoying the celebrations and pausing some to remember why we celebrate—the Good News of His arrival and our opportunity to trust Him as Savior and honor Him as Lord.

With Love from Cameroon,
Arnie & Karen <><
Zac and Noah

Distorted Thinking and Sexuality

2007-11-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

[Having received zero hits on this blog after a few days and realizing that my dissertation links are for pdf files only, here's one section from Chapter 2 that may be more easily searchable on the internet and hopefully helpful to many:]

Distorted thinking and sexuality
One area that has been greatly soiled and spoiled by distorted thinking perhaps more than any other and that has also made a laughing stock of an increasing number of Christian leaders is that of sexuality and intimacy. Rosenau, “a pioneer in Christian sex therapy” and a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary, decried: “Since the Fall, sex has been in a downhill spiral of immaturity and distortion.”[1] Sexual addiction begins, as does any unhealthy addiction, with the distortion of lies and self-deception:
I don’t really have a problem,
I can handle this alone.
This [the secret activity] is helping me be a better husband [or father, or worker].
It relaxes me and makes me happier to be around.
As long as I’m not hurting anyone else—and … no one finds out—this activity is alright.
I’m an exception. This activity is normally wrong, but circumstances are so extreme [my marriage is so bad, my job is so stressful] that this activity is okay for me ... [as long as an unhealthy addiction] doesn’t take place … I’d never go that far.[2]

It appears that there is much greater participation world wide in every type of sexual sin mentioned in the Bible today than ever before. A key reason for this increase in recent years has been the Internet, wrote Hodge and Lindquist, which “provides the ultimate in affordability, accessibility and anonymity to enable sexual addictions.”[3] Other disturbing statistics in this same article include:
Women had only slightly lower rates of sexually compulsive Internet behavior [than men].
Fifty-one percent of pastors say cyberporn is a possible temptation. Thirty-seven percent say it is a current struggle.
There are an estimated 400,000 pornographic Web sites, mostly outside of the U.S. … a Web search for “free porn” generated 1.65 million references.[4]

The article which followed stated that people “felt that their resistance level against pornography decreased the more fatigued they became … emotionally ‘numb’ … not feel[ing] much sorrow, joy sadness or excitement.” One person who had felt numb for several months reported finally feeling emotionally “alive” again after having accidentally opened an X-rated site while searching for information about starting a new ministry. The solution offered to avoid fatigue from overwork was that people need “to learn how to rest, relax and pace themselves.”[5]
There may still be some pastors, parents, or other Christian leaders who not aware of the major shifts which occurred in the early seventies and eighties in what used to be called the “soft-core” pornography magazines. Many of these have gone a step or more beyond that category. These people should consider the advice which Dobson advocated to one pastor after having served on the U.S. Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography: “Get yourself educated … first hand … and then just do as God leads from that point on.”[6] The caveat that should be mentioned to avoid getting this education privately and becoming addicted in the process is that it is best done in the company of other mature believers who are serious about helping those who are addicted as Hybles did with his pastoral staff. In 1989 there were “240 million pornographic magazines printed … in [America]. … Pornography [was] a $6-8 billion-a-year industry. Most of it is controlled by organized crime, almost all of it going untouched, and it’s growing exponentially.”[7] In 1996 one article mentioned that the figure was between eight and ten billion dollars a year. No doubt it is much higher today.
This same article uses the term “distorted thinking” in describing man’s inhumanity to women:
Most of pornography’s customers are men. As a result, women are most often the victims of the distorted thinking of the addict: The belief that any kind of sex, even that involving

violence, is pleasurable. This can lead to an acceptance of coercive acts in sexual relationships, both married and non-married.[8]

Since the advent of the World Wide Web with its lack of restraint on any type of information, chat forums, pictures, or videos, the “slippery slope to secretive lives and wounded relationships,”[9] has become even more slippery. Although this is can be true in a moral sense, and is used as a warning to others of the dangers involved, the term “slippery slope” is also known as one of the “fallacies of fact gathering … a kind of straw man in which you exaggerate the negative effects of an action or event so that you make them seem harder to ‘swallow.’” Cohen continued with another variation of slippery slope in which someone is “suggesting that these effects will ‘snowball,’ so that one bad effect will gradually lead to further even worse ones.” For example, one may fear that if he fails something, he will “never amount to anything.”[10] Some have feared or even concluded that they should never marry because of having committed a major sin. Another article defines “Domino Effect/Slippery Slope: arguing against by linking a first decision with possible unproved negative future outcomes.”[11] Many Christians, who are caught in the bind of sexual or any other type of unhealthy addiction, attempt to live a double life under a cloud of guilt. Eventually they will discover that they cannot successfully overcome it without divulging their secret and without community support.
A few pornographic pictures or videos from whatever source are never enough because just as “Death and destruction are never satisfied … neither are the eyes of man” (Prov. 27:20). George claims that a person’s “imagination is always more titillating than what his eyes actually see.”[12] Hybles observes: “Reality can never live up to fantasy. … Once we become comfortable in Fantasyland … [it] becomes reality to us, and so we are easily deceived … we can find happiness only in satisfying our sexual appetites.”[13] Hughes reports: “Eight-one percent of the students responding to the GRIP poll admitted to intentionally downloading pornography on their home computer.”[14]
No matter what the unhealthy addiction may be, sexual or not, it is a
pathological love and trust relationship with an object or event … which will always be there when he needs it. … the addict begins to build his defense system to protect himself from those who would attempt to rid him of this fantasy. … He … will shift blame, shade the truth, lie, and intimidate those around him. … His distorted view of reality will be the means by which he will now judge others … the addict becomes increasingly isolated … [he] is angry that everyone does not see his point of view … His world will become increasingly more secretive, more isolated, more necessary … ending a[n] addiction is not easy.[15]

The pornographic magazines and similar sites on the Web would not have been so appealing to Christians if they had been adequately mentored by godly parents (or men and women) first and foremost in the area of their attitudes and character, and then in the area of sex. They could recommend helpful resources such as those mentioned in an appendix of this study.
One of the major reasons that Christian husbands (or fiancées) gravitate secretly to pornographic sites, videos, books and magazines is that they have not adequately discussed the topic of sex with their wife (or wife to be). Many marriage counselors encourage couples to expand their understanding together, filling in the gaps of their knowledge and enjoyment of each other:[16]
“The principle of what is loving and caring for the other person must be addressed. On the other hand, the teaching that our bodies are each other’s to enjoy must also be incorporated.”[17] Allender and Longman describe three barriers to experiencing the joy of uninhibited, passionate sex as God had intended within marriage: “Every couple faces three great enemies to desire, arousal, and climax: anxiety, disgust, and anger. Anxiety is often due to a fear of performance … Disgust is often related to parental and/or church shame that has impugned the desirability and delight of sexuality … [and to] shame related to past sexual abuse or even past immorality … [A]nger … arises when one or both spouses feel used … and soul ignored or denigrated … Sexual dissatisfaction [by either spouse] is a sensitive indicator that God’s plan for marriage is off track.”[18]
Apart from sadomasochism which is not conducive to one’s marriage, there are still several sexual activities considered by some spouses as disgusting, but newer Christian books from the West are beginning to challenge such negative or fearful attitudes. No authors, however, are as urgent as African Christian authors, who believe that the only hope of effectively fighting AIDS and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases is to encourage spouses to so please their mates (both sexually and otherwise, Eph. 4:32; 5:25-33) that the enticement of prostitutes and affairs will be nullified: “I feel free to do things to him and he also feels free to do things to me. Isn’t that the best way to make sure that one will not be tempted to engage in risky behaviors outside one’s marriage?”[19] This book is highly recommended by many conservative Christian missionaries in Cameroon who are concerned about the spread of AIDS.
The attitude of being used, degraded, or denigrated is also being challenged in light of mutual submission and trying to out-serve the other: “Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for oneself but rather by giving out. Let us, as married couples, try to out love one another … without any restrictions, the couples should feel free to experiment and to ‘know’ each other in the most intimate sense possible.”[20] Such an attitude may also result in eliminating fanaticizing with pornography which is oftentimes done in revenge for a spouse’s refusal to engage in certain sexual activities which are not forbidden by the Bible.[21]
The boundaries for mutual enjoyment are sufficiently delineated in 1 Cor. 6:12; 7:5; 10:23; and Heb. 13:4 taken together. An in-depth study of The Song of Solomon would also be very helpful. Intimacy improves as couples experience greater ease, empathy, and understanding in openly discussing this and any other topic. There should not be any forbidden topic or issue, nothing “swept under the carpet” or postponed indefinitely. Resolution should be the goal for harmonious unity in marriage: “If a couple does not routinely clean their relationship of damaging emotions and lingering pain, they are bound to drift apart.”[22]
One commonly quoted statistic in the literacy is stated by the Mayhalls: “If the sex life of a married couple is happy, it is a small fraction of the total relationship—perhaps 5%. But if it is unhappy, it colors everything else and becomes closer to the 90% of the relationship because it affects many other parts of life.”[23] They continue by explaining that when one spouse withholds rendering pleasure to the other, thus violating 1 Cor. 7:5, he or she has becomes equally guilty for the inevitable increase in temptation the other will face (Matt. 18:7).
Two other verses that could serve as important guidelines for healthy marital relationships (along with the backdrop of the Golden Rule and the passages mentioned in the previous paragraph) could include Eph. 5:18, 21. These could all be summarized as follows: “Do not become obsessed or intoxicated by anything or by anyone except by the Holy Spirit. Only by his enablement can one show courteous reverence, submission, and unconditional love to one’s mate and thereby experience guilt-free, mutually intoxicating, uninhibited, pleasurable intimacy.”[24]
Intimate companionship is what people are actually seeking, but many are frustrated in their attempt to find it even within a faithful monogamous marriage. The root of this difficulty can partially be traced at least as far back as the “dualism inherited from the Greeks who saw the mind as positive and the body as negative … we worship with our minds and sin with our bodies.”[25] In reality we are expected to worship with both as well as with our heart, but “we sin above all with our minds.” Thus we separate and elevate the enjoyment of the pleasurable experiences of the sexual union above the enjoyment of the closeness of the intimate relationship. Guinness proposes that this has led to dissecting the word
lust … in terms of such components as promiscuity, pornography, adultery, incest, seduction, prostitution, rape and unnatural vice. But at its heart lust is an idolizing of sex in the sense of an unethical and unrestrained expression of the sexual impulse. It happens even in proper sexual relations when the object of sexual desire is not the sexual partner but rather the pleasure or services that the partner can provide. … Happiness, runs the “Grand Modern Lie,” depends upon being forever sexually attractive and fulfilled … the mournful and medical aspect of twentieth-century pornography and promiscuity strongly suggests that we have reached one of those periods of spiritual depression, where people go to bed because they have nothing better to do … the two main pangs of lust are dehumanization and self-deception [resulting in loneliness and] an even deeper longing [for fulfillment].[26]

This longing can only find its ultimate fulfillment in a deeper more intimate relationship with Christ since no other human can fill this gap. Just as “the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ” (Gal. 3:24, NASB), it may be that this strong desire for intimacy with another person is also a tutor to increase one’s hunger and thirst for the deepest intimate relationship possible in this life with another human (a spouse of the opposite sex) and with God. Sex was “designed to lead us into relationships,” the relationship with God being the most crucial.[27] Such intimacy would enable us to (1) experience genuine unconditional love, (2) find meaning, (3) find purpose, (4) have a transparent, honest, guilt free conscience, and to (5) have a healthy motivation to live the abundant life we were promised (John 10:10).
The main obstacle to genuine intimacy, many mistakenly believe, is that it “is costly, it is much easier to turn to cheap [and more convenient] substitutes such as masturbation, pornography, [romance novels, soap operas, or videos with sex scenes], and promiscuity.”[28] But in reality this cost is miniscule compared to the much higher cost of the possible consequences of using some of these substitutes: loss of productive time (time wasted in fantasizing, viewing, downloading, organizing downloads, and in struggling to eliminate the incriminating evidence such as embarrassing desktop wall paper, screen saver programs, pop-up videos or pictures, dial-up icons as well as intruding programs or harmful viruses from your computer), loss of respect by family and community, loss of promotion, of pay increase or of job or career; the cost of divorce lawyers, child support or of rebuilding trust in the existing marriage; the cost of books, videos, phone calls (for phone sex), Internet charges, software to eliminate evidence. The costs may be even greater in the case of extra-marital affairs as well as of professional counseling to overcome the weight of guilt and to resolve the underlying issues and unhealthy relationships.
Alcorn mentions eight steps which could encourage one to avoid distorted thinking in the sexual area. The eighth one is to regularly review the costly consequences of sexual sin. Recommending that each person write his or her own list to personalize it, he mentions the twenty-one that he reminds himself about on a regular basis.[29] Schaumburg admits, however, that some people, though fully aware of the consequences, “are willing to sacrifice family, career and reputation in exchange for an intimacy that’s not even real!”[30]
Failure to achieve intimacy in marriage is the result of one or both mates being selfish, a form of distorted thinking. Furman insists that the “authoritative” husband and what used to be called the “ideal” husband are both basically selfish husbands. Authoritative husbands “are thinking directly of self in the husband-wife relationship” while the “ideal” husbands “are really thinking indirectly of self most of the time because their actions are done more out of pride than out of love. They enjoy telling other husbands how ‘ideal’ they are; seldom do they do anything secretly or quietly for their wives, without any fanfare attached.”[31] Furman, who wrote both Reaching Your Full Potential, and The Intimate Husband, used the term “full-potential” husband to describe the Eph. 5:21, 22 type of husband; the selfless man who seeks (1) to understand his wife, her preferences, dislikes, dreams and wishes, allowing them to have priority over his own,[32] (2) to invest more time and effort to train his mind to think often of her and how he might build her up rather than point out her faults and complain about her attitude or service,[33] (3) to let God love her through him,[34] and (4) to strive for true intimacy.
Some wives have difficulty understanding how they are to submit to their husbands according to Eph. 5. Furman used the illustration of the musician submitting to the conductor who encourages her to reach her potential so they can work together in harmony. “Couples need to get their views in the open, study them together, and talk about new ways of understanding the concept of submission.”[35]
Although it is not easy for a person seeking intimacy through pornography to outgrow this immature attitude, Crabb and Allender remind us that:
Hope for the man losing the struggle with sexual temptation can be found in the good heart that remains within him despite his failures, a good heart that wants to bless others. As he enters into the miracle of “Christ in him” and releases his longing to give what God has uniquely placed within him, he will discover that godly affections are stronger than ungodly ones, that the joy of living in community can be more powerful than the urge to view another video. As he walks in the Spirit, he will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.[36]

One must not only avoid the seductive trap of secret lives and wounded relationships resulting from private lustful viewing of pornography, but also to be avoided are traps resulting from seeking inappropriate levels of intimacy in the work environment:
In the new infidelity, one doesn’t have to have sex to be unfaithful. In fact, secret emotional attachments outside a marriage can be just as great a betrayal as extramarital sex. When sex and emotional involvement combine, as they do increasingly in these new workplace affairs with professional colleagues, the threat to the marriage is more catastrophic-much more so than traditional affairs used to be. In the current crisis of infidelity, men are more likely to fall in love with their affair partners—in the past, they were more likely to have uncomplicated sexual liaisons. Today, women are also getting more sexually involved than they did in previous generations.[37]

The signs of an emotional affair according to Glass are:
Emotional Intimacy … When you share more about who you are—your hopes and dreams, frustrations and failures—with the other person than you do with your spouse …
Secrecy and Deception … Are you telling your spouse you’re meeting that wonderful colleague for lunch in the cafeteria every day? Lying reduces intimacy in a marriage.
Sexual Chemistry … If there is sexual chemistry between you, then at the very least there is an unacknowledged sexual attraction—even if you never act on it.[38]

Thus, “Infidelity is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust.” And “Friendships, work relationships, and Internet liaisons have become the latest threat to marriages.”[39]
Yates encourages marriage partners to work seriously at becoming good friends. This is best done if certain traps are avoided: The picky trap, the comparison trap, and the hopeless trap. Instead, the following qualities should be cultivated: A thankful spirit, an accepting atmosphere, a fresh vision for your marriage, a forgiving spirit, and humbleness to ask for forgiveness.[40]
On a lighter side of this area, Rosenau uses an improved version of Albert Ellis’ A-B-C method, the “A-B-C-D way of viewing life and his [Ellis’] concept of a rational and irrational way of living life.” By rejecting the fact “God created each of us unique and special” many men and women’s belief systems have become distorted regarding their bodies. They think that because they do not have the “perfect” or “ideal” body shape they will be less desirable to others. Rosenau strongly states: “Try to learn some ways to dispute your irrational, self-denigrating thinking:
1. Search out the rational truth.
2. Create positive self-statements.
3. Use mental imagery.”[41]

Sills admits that old habits or ruts, whether good or bad, are difficult to change when they must be changed because “change is disruptive, uncomfortable, all for an end that is uncertain … requires loss—loss of the old things, old people, old, comfy ways of doing and being.”[42] This is followed by a generalized method for handling distorted thinking in any area of life:
Change what you see [your perception]. Then change what you think [because “even though it feels good to satisfy them,” “it hurts you to satisfy your ruling passions all the time”]. And then, with the momentum of these shifts in your view of yourself, change what you do [satisfy other needs, other people, and in so doing, you make your family, your friends, and you colleagues nicer people to be around].[43]

Storms declares unequivocally “God is a hedonist.”[44] Crabb helps us face reality by stating,
Real pleasure, the only kind that satisfies the human soul and at the same time, transforms [one] into a marvelously decent person, is the sheer pleasure of living for the glory of God. It’s what each of us was designed to do… The core battle is to believe that the Eternal Community of God is a party that we all long to attend and to discover and freely indulge our deepest passions for their kind of fun.[45]

The main obstacle to enjoying the abundant life which God promised (John 1:10) Storm explains,
… we have been duped by the devil. We have believed what is perhaps the most pernicious lie ever told, namely that the pleasures and delights of the world, the flesh, and the devil are more enjoyable and satisfying than who God is for us in Jesus … [but] God is delicious! ... we were made to enjoy Him.[46]

To summarize, distorted thinking in the sexual area occurs because:
1. People naturally tend to be selfish, non-empathetic, and to seek their own personal gratification above that of others. Instead they should “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3), and their conversation should “be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Col. 4:6). Older men should be treated as fathers, younger men “as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Tim. 5:1-2). “[W]e fail to realize … that grace, not [just] truth is that miraculous adhesive that bonds us to us to each other. … Both … are inseparable essential elements in living the Christian life. … see John 1:14.”[47] Forgiveness is key to healing the inevitable hurts within relationships.
2. “Enlighted people today have [allowed themselves to] become trapped in a cultural paradigm that shapes how they see themselves as men and women … focusing on gender differences and fail[ing] to recognize the importance of what is shared in common.” The focus on gender differences leads to the despair that neither will ever understand the other or work well together.[48]
3. People have become more isolated resulting in the weakening of their interpersonal infrastructure:
We’re losing human contact with one another, even though we don’t mean to. We’re busy. We’re otherwise engaged. We’re somewhere else. More and more of us ache inside, yearning to connect but wondering how to. If you feel this way, don’t feel alone. … It is time for us to find one another once again. It is time to reconnect in this busy, disconnected world.[49]

4. Many people seek to master “some powerful technique to make them stand out as a lover.” But “fantastic lovemaking is based upon who you are as a person, not what you do. Attitudes and character are what counts.”[50] It is a Christ-like attitude and godly character—not chemistry, or romance that keeps love alive. The latter two are just “icing on the cake.” Without the “cake” there is no adequate infrastructure to support a relationship in difficult times. After a presentation of “ten reasonable desires based on God’s economy for intimate companionship” (listed in the appendix), the eight basic techniques are adequately addressed.[51]
Healthy resolution between husband and wife in the sexual area can result in resolution of many other areas. An adequate biblical understanding of this area for anyone can improve their own self-esteem as well as their relationships with others as they seek to influence everyone to honor and imitate Christ.

[1]Rosenau, 1.

[2]Patrick A. Means, Men’s Secret Wars (Grand Rapids, MI: Fleming H. Revell,
1999), 176.

[3]Robert Hodge and Brent Lindquist, “The Dark Side of the Internet,” Evangelical Missions Quarterly (January 2003): 54-5.

[4]Ibid., 53-5.
[5]James Lo, “The Missionary and Porn,” Evangelical Missions Quarterly (January 2003): 62-3.

[6]Bill Hybles, Christians in a Sex-Crazed Culture (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books,
1989), 91-2.

[7]Ibid., 92-3.

[8]Minnesota Family Council, “Pornography: Don’t Protect It, Reject It,” 1993 [article on-line]; available from http://www.mfc.org/resources/backgrounders/pornography.htm; Internet; accessed 20 November 2006.

[9]Forsythe, 3.

[10]Cohen, 22, 23.

[11]“Truth: Awareness Of Faulty Thinking” [article on-line]; available from http://www.happyotter.com/hotools/truth.htm; Internet; accessed 20 November 2006. See article in appendix.
[12]Bob George, Classic Christianity: Life’s Too Short to Miss the Real Thing (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, Inc., 1989), 143.

[13]Hybles, 19.

[14]Donna Rice Hughes, Kids Online: Protecting Your Children in Cyberspace. (Grand Rapids, MI: Fleming H. Revell, 1998), 63.

[15]Lutz, 72-3.
[16]Les Parrott and Leslie Parrot, Relationships (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 2002), 93-8. See also Dianne Hales, “5. Don’t shy away from touchy topics” in “What No Marriage Can Do Without,” Reader’s Digest, June 1993, 122 (Condensed from Working Mothers).

[17]Clifford and Joyce Penner, The Gift of Sex: A Christian Guide to Sexual Fulfillment (Waco, TX: Word Books, 1981), 229.

[18]Dan Allender and Temper Longman III, Intimate Allies (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1999), 230-1.

[19]Philippe Mutaka and Flora A. Molima, eds., Wish I had Known (Yaoundé, Cameroon: Editions Sherpa, 2004), 89.

[20]’Funmi Akingbade, Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Kaduna, Nigeria: Evangel Publishers Ltd., 2000), 120.

[21]Joseph and Linda Dillow and Peter and Lorraine Pintus, Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple. (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2004), 273-4.

[22]Parrott and Parrot, 76.
[23]Jack Mayhall and Carole Mayhall, Marriage Takes More Than Love (Colorado Springs, CO: Navpress, 1978, 219.

[24]A summarization of the verses from The Message, as well as from statements made by several Christian marriage counselors cited in this study: Parrott, Penner, Rosenau, Wright, etc.

[25]Guinness, 2000, 240
[26]Ibid., 240-1.

[27]Forsythe, 12.

[28]Ibid., 13.
[29]Alcorn, “Strategies to keep from falling,” Leadership (Summer 1996).

[30]Harry W. Schaumburg, False Intimacy (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 1997) [quotation on-line]; available from http://www.parsonage.org/articles/reviews/A000001044.cfm; Internet; accessed 20 November 2006.
[31]Richard Furman, The Intimate Husband (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, Inc., 1986), 14.

[32]Ibid., 61-70.

[33]Ibid.

[34]Ibid., 82.

[35]Penner, 1981, 223.

[36]Larry Crabb and Dan Allender, Hope When You’re Hurting (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 204.
[37]Shirley Glass, NOT “Just Friends”: Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal (New York, NY: The Free Press, 2003) [quotation on-line]; available from http://www.shirleyglass.com/book.htm; Internet; accessed 20 November 2006.

[38]Ibid.

[39]Ibid.

[40]Susan Yates. “Befriend Your Spouse,” Today’s Christian Woman (September/October 2000), 42-5.
[41]Rosenau, 192-3.

[42]Judith Sills, Excess Baggage: Getting Out of Your Own Way (New York, NY: Viking Penguin, 1993), 17.

[43]Ibid., 18.

[44] Sam Storm, Pleasures Evermore: The Life-Changing Power of Enjoying God, (Colorado Springs, CO: Navpress, 2000), 11.

[45]Larry Crabb, foreword to Sam Storm, Pleasures Evermore, 8-9.

[46]Ibid., 48. (See Storm’s ideas on “How to overcome temptation” in appendix.)

[47]Wakefield and Brolsma, 33-4.
[48]Wakefield and Brolsma, 20-1.

[49]Edward M. Hallowell, Connect (New York, NY: Pocket Books, 1999), xi-xii.

[50]Rosenau, 12.

[51]Ibid., xi.

Yaoundé Tricks and Treats

2007-11-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

We don’t think too much about Halloween here—we’ve been enjoying our Thanksgiving decorations for several weeks already. But our move to the big city of Yaoundé has made me think of trick or treating in a new way…

Trick—humidity sticks (literally!) around 92% this time of year. Shoes and video tapes are the hardest hit, but even CDs and DVDs can get an odd coating of white fuzz. Medicines change colors and texture and make you wonder about their effectiveness (and safety??).
Treat—the inside temperature stays around 75 degrees all the time this time of year—quite pleasant!

Trick—when the Cameroonian president Paul Biya travels between his palace and the airport, all the roads on his route close for several hours. We have to cross that route to get from our house to Rain Forest International School. You just never know when this might happen!
Treat—we only live a 15-minute walk from school and they usually do allow pedestrian traffic to cross.

Trick—in the village we could buy a whole stalk of bananas for about $1.25. Here in Yaoundé we pay that much for about 3 small bunches.
Treat—bananas were one of the very few things available in the village. Here we can get all kinds of fresh fruit, vegetables and meat any day of the week. We’re “O-D-ing” on lettuce salads and fruit smoothies with wonderful papaya, mangoes and other tropical fruit.

Trick—we know a bit more about our nearest neighbors than we might wish. They live much of their lives—cooking, entertaining, doing laundry, etc.—in their side yard, which is just under our bedroom window. We know their tastes in music. We know when they are up early to chop wood for their cook fire and we know when the fish starts sizzling in the pan. We know the toddler is being potty trained, and we know she REALLY doesn’t enjoy the process. We know when the baby is distressed. We know if the puppies are upset. We know when the dad comes in at 4 a.m. to find himself locked out and has to bang on the gate to wake someone to let him in. (If only we’d had the key we could have let him in long before he got in!)
Treat—we have new opportunities to have neighbors and friends over and are enjoying the hospitality of others as well.

Trick—some of our missionary neighbors have had their homes broken into, particularly on Sunday mornings when they are away at church. Another colleague recently experienced an attempted robbery on the road close to our house while walking back from a nearby shop. Fortunately a friend came to his aid and they chased the thief away before he got the money and cell phone he was after.
Treat—God is faithful and sovereign and we rest in His loving care. If we do get robbed someday, it’s only stuff anyway. He has us hemmed in, behind and before, according to Psalm 139:5. So why worry, when you can pray?!

That probably gives you some ideas of how our lives have changed, but there are always many good things to enjoy and appreciate. Our Father God treats us very well!!

Love and prayers,
Karen <>< for the Colemans

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October News

2007-11-24T11:40:00.000-08:00

Last Friday [October 12, 2007] brought back such fun memories of last winter in Oregon….talk around the dinner table the night before….bedtime prayers (“Lord, PLEASE let it snow tonight!”)….getting up early to listen to the announcements on the radio…watching the ticker on the bottom of the TV screen…even checking the Internet….what’s the verdict?...will there be school today??

NO! No school and great rejoicing in the Coleman household! We all get the day off!

Did we have snow? In Cameroon? Well, not really…It was actually about 75 degrees Fahrenheit outside! This “snow day” was based entirely on a sighting of the moon! The Islam fasting month, Ramadan, was about to end, based on when someone—exactly who is not exactly clear!—sees the new moon. The next day is declared a national holiday and, to be sensitive to our host culture (and avoid rioting among the student body) Rain Forest International School also takes the day off. : ) Zac got to sleep in and Noah played some extra “Battle for Middle Earth” on the computer. It was a fun, relaxing day. But somehow the hot chocolate that tasted so good in Oregon last year didn’t interest any of us here!

We finished our first quarter of school on September 28, amidst a flurry of grading quizzes, papers and tests for Arnie. (With 38 students, he determined he gave a few too many quizzes for his own good last quarter and says he’s cutting back a bit.) For our October Break (1-8 October) we headed north to Bamenda, our old stomping grounds. Over the course of the week, we met with our Esimbi translation coordinator James, our literacy coordinator, Daniel, our Wycliffe literacy consultant, Truus, and the vice president of the translation committee Emmanuel. The work is progressing and we were encouraged. We also had time for fun with friends, a jigsaw puzzle, some DVD movies, even a water gun fight.

We’re back into our routines now. This week at school is Special Emphasis Week on Self-Awareness. Karen is leading a small group entitled, “Who Am I?” using scripture to teach the truth of who we are in the eyes of God. Zac spent last Saturday morning at an orphanage in town, playing with the kids for part of his “Community Service” requirement. Noah finished his “Medieval Life” paper for Social Studies. Arnie is reading up on secular humanism (via www.secularhuminism.org – many articles very strong against Christianity), communism and global warming for his “Bible and Worldview” classes. Our guest book is filling up a bit faster here in Yaoundé than it did in Benade, since we have the opportunity to have folks over for dinner more often. We recently had our Dutch neighbor and his Cameroonian wife over with another Dutch missionary family with kids at RFIS. Our neighbor was ecstatic to meet them and talked Dutch nearly non-stop throughout the meal. He had not seen any other Dutchmen in Yaounde. The other kids translated some for us so we could know a little of what was going on…it was pretty comical.

Thanks for your prayers for us as we balance these new RFIS responsibilities with overseeing the Esimbi project. We are currently trying to figure out how to get our Esimbi tone data off of a fairly dead computer so that we can present it to a Wycliffe colleague who has offered to help us sort out our old unresolved tone puzzle. We are also looking ahead to next school year and need God’s wisdom as we consider some options for further ministry at the school that have been presented to us. We appreciate you and your prayers for us more than we can ever express.

And we have a favor to ask of you…if you have a photo of yourself that you could mail or email to us, we’d appreciate it. We now have our prayer board hung in the dining room, but it’s still empty. We promise to post your picture as a reminder to pray for you.

Arnie, Karen, Zac and Noah Coleman <><

c/o SIL
B.P. 1299
Yaoundé, Cameroon
237-7757-1463
arnie.coleman@worldteam.org